Durk Sided

Was last night a full moon? People's behavior makes me think it may have been.
Work.
I was there. 8-3, but what with the time change it was 8-4, then home by 5. Ouch.
'how could it have possibly taken so long to close the bar?' you may be asking. Let me paint you a picture of the night. 3 large birthday parties, saturday night, lots of shot specials. Some hippie guy with dreads knocked over a table before 11, breaking glass and spilling beer. He left. I cut my finger open on said broken glass. Okay, okay, not so bad. People were just being super rude all night and way too touchy and just overall grossing me out. I had a party of 25 people, there for a birthday, half paying in cash, half on cards, they were mean, I was nicer than I ever am. At the end of the night, the birthday husband closed out his tab, totalling 74 dollars. No tip. Zero. My manager talked to him to see if I did something wrong ( I didn't) so he threw a couple of bucks my way. 8 of them. Yep. The rest of the party didn't tip either. "We'll leave cash on the table." Okay, great, thanks guys, have a good night!
The cash tip? 2million dollars! Oh no, you read that right, 2 million dollar tip! Too bad it was monopoly money. So yeah, I made maybe 15 bucks off of them.
Then we (the barstaff) get to clean up. James (the dj) handed me a shovel and a mop and walked away.
'what's this for?'
'men's room'
.....
Yep. someone had drunkenly shat all over the toilet. and the floor. and the walls. and proceeded to shove half a roll of toilet paper down the thing. Not a strong enough image for you? Try this, have you seen Trainspotting? You know when Ewan McGregor dives in? That bathroom had nothing on this.

So, after a stiff drink, some bleach, rubber gloves, mop, towels, rags, a shovel, bucket and improvised bandit masks, Julia and I took care of it. (there are pictures somewhere)

I have never swallowed so much vomit in my life, but I can guarantee that the men's room at the Mix is the cleanest it has ever been.