Tuesday, June 23, 2009

lazy summer days

I've had two days off in a row. It's been amazing. Right now I'm sipping my coffee, writing this, listening to music, making plans and catching up with old friends. the roomies are all gone so, I'm lounging about in my bathrobe. What a life. I think I may work out and shower later. Go to the pool. Read. I really like my life

Some things I am looking forward to:

1) Canoeing this weekend. I've never been and am excited. Also, I really want to spend some good goof-off time with all the kids.

2) Mewithoutyou concert in Lawrence. I hope I can get the day off of work because this will be amazing. the new album is like nothing i have ever heard before and I am obsessed with 'King beetle on a coconut estate'

3) July 4th. I have no idea what I'm doing, but hopefully I'll be in St. Joe with the family. I haven't seen the boys in a very long time. Maybe I'll stop in Cameron and visit my mom and nana too, havent seen them since Christmas. That's far too long.

4) Grocery Shopping. I'm so hungry.

5) L.A

Sunday, June 21, 2009

day one

sometimes, i just want to beat the shit out of someone. I know this is bad, I know violence is not the answer, but i really think it's one of the answers.

Friday, June 19, 2009

I had a dream

I think it was all the talk about Jurrasic Park last night, or that I've been watching movies with Jeff Goldblum lately, but last night I had a dream about dinosaurs.

I was with a lot of people that I knew, but I really don't know them. There was some sort of break-out of dinosaurs (all carnivores, of course) and we the humans were spending our days running from the raptors. I was at one point hiding on top of a pile of furniture and some other girl kept trying to hide with me. I was not having it, seeing as she kept squealing and attracting the man-eaters. At one point I held my hand over her mouth and said

"If you don't shutup, I will kill you myself."

Dream me is kind of a hardass.

Then the dinosaur stuck his big tooth filled head in our hiding place and I guess he was really dumb because he was breathing all on my face, but didn't see/smell me. Thank God.

I don't really remember the rest, just a lot of running and threatening the stupid 'I belong in a horror movie' girl, but still managing to save her ass. Lucky. There was a dance recital in a really different Craig Hall too. I spent my time there in the catacomb like basement of Craig, dodging dinos and watching ballet.

I don't make much sense.

Monday, June 15, 2009

The Young Mrs. Gaines

There is a woman laying on a park bench that has been uprooted and placed on a balcony. She smokes and blows rings into the air above her. Her body shivers and shakes despite the warmth of the night. Her eyes, when they open, seem unable to focus. She keeps eyeing the empty armchair across the space from her.

"You've gotta go now Neal. You gotta leave me. Gotta go."

The silloutte of a man is shown in the armchair, but he makes no responce. The woman begins to weep.

The widow is at the grave. She wears textured black in the dead of winter. Thick smoke escapes thru her veil. She is the dark one, so internally broken by her loss that she chooses not to grieve at all. To the outsider, her husband's untimely death is meaningless to her, even to the point of arousing small-town suspicion.
When she is alone, however, she is the outward expression of pain. What she does not show publicly, she privately boarders on indulgence. She will wear black for the rest of her life. She cannot bear to remove her wedding band. This widow hasn't changed the sheets on her bed, she still lays there breathing in her husband's lingering scent. She takes small sips from the glass of water he left next to the bed. Some days she does nothing at all but lay in bed, wrapped in her dead husband's memory.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

2 am and it's

time to die.

I am sick. I am tired. The neighbor bro's have ignored my pleas for their silence.

It's time to take matters into my own hands....

Seriously, I'm tap-tap-typing this out at quarter after 2 in the morning and it's the second time I've woken up to some obnoxious girl squealing something about ..."but that's not cheating! Braaaaddd!"
Dear Lord,
I swear, I'm trying to be a good person. But this, this is too much. A girl can only listen to so much Korn and linkon park. I can't even misspell it properly I'm so tired. I swear they're listening to the 'Queen of the Damned' soundtrack. Oh God. You have to help. They won't listen to me anymore...

Really. Really Bro's, I know it's summer, I know it's a weekend. But, but I have a job. I have a cold. I know I probably wouldn't be sleeping anyway, I know that, but I really feel like i had a chance tonight. I drifted off at a pretty decent hour, I've had a long day, I've earned this sleep.

And you're stealing it away.

They just skipped tracks to listen to a really. really. bad. cover of Hotel California. It's like a drunken brofest singalong on my porch. That's it. Last straw.

I'm going to destroy them...

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Obsessions

I get in these moods every once in a while in which I either love or loathe everything. I think that's alright. I think that's grand.
Right now I'm (re)obsessed with a lot of things. I say "obsessed" because it's true. I either watch, listen to, or read about all of these things because I can't seem to get over the idea of how great they are.

Oh look, a list!

1) Anthony Bourdain. There's really no explaining this. He's old, bitter, cynical, and crass. Well, I guess that is the explaination. An ex-chef who now travels the world experiencing and documenting different cultures and people through the food they prepare and share. It's a foodie show, but it really isn't about food at all. love.

2) "Igby Goes Down"- see previous post

3) "Heart of Darkness" Joseph Conrad just gets it. I've been re-reading a book of his short fiction (including Heart of Darkness) and it's just good work. Having somewhat recently seen Apocolypse Now helps too.

4) "Brick". Just watch it. A contemporary take on classic crime drama/nior. Writing to fall in love with.
ex: "You've helped this office before."
"No, I fed you Jerr because I wanted to see him eaten, not to see you fed."

"Why are you telling me this? What's your play?"
"You think nobody sees you. Eating lunch behind the portables. Loving some girl
like she's all there is, anywhere, to you. I've always seen you...Or maybe I liked
Emily. Maybe I see what you're trying to do for her. Trying to help her, and I
don't know anybody who'd do that for me."
"Now you are dangerous."


5) Helena by Nickel Creek. It's for sure number one on my top played list on iTunes. There's just something about a story/song like this. I find myself identifying with both 'characters' as it were.

6) 3OH!3. Needs no explaination.

7) I Never Knew You by Cage. I know, I know it's lame hipster underground rap. I'm aware. But it's dark and creepy and sad and Shia LeBouf didn't suck at directing the music video.

8) The phrase "Suck it". I think I stole this from Joel, but I don't care. It's funny and innapropriate, which is all one can really ask for.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

They call me 'Igby'

If you've never seen the movie 'Igby Goes Down', you should change that. I haven't seen it in ages, but it's so so good. Stellar cast. My longtime celebrity crush Jeff Goldblum is in it, as is Kieran Culkin (brother of McKullay. However you spell it...) Amanda Peet, Ryan Phillipe, Claire Danes, and Susan Sarandon.

I don't really recall what I meant by this posting, except that there is one quote that sticks in my mind even after all this time.

"I guess I'm just a glutton for punishment."

I find relation to this a lot of the time. Which is wierd. You'd think that realizing it would make me work harder to change it. All it really does is inspire a bizarre sense of irony.

Another couple of quotes (as best I can recall them):

"If Heaven is such a great place, why is being crucified such a big sacrifice?"

"I love that the captain of the morality team invites his girlfriend to the same party as his wife. Who, let's face it, isn't the sharpest tool anymore. And you know what? None of her friends even stand up for her. They all know and no one bats an eyelash at his hypocrasy. I love it. Really. Embrace your moral hypocracy, just do it."

"I should hate you." "Don't be indulgent"

Thursday, June 4, 2009

A Week of Bad Ideas

1) Driving 4 hours in the sun with one arm out the window.
2) Letting mysterious birthday boys buy you drinks.
3) Meeting Ron Jeremy
4) Getting Ron Jeremy's signature
5) Selling plasma then going drinking
6) Texting during or after any of these activities
7) 7and7's

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I can't pay rent UPDATE

Mission accomplished. I've got 20 more dollars in my wallet and bonus saline in my veins. The veins in my left arm are too small to draw from, so they had to take from the right. Which makes driving a stick shift really tricky.
I don't know when I'm donating again. It's all highly shady. Apparently (and I get this information from my Biolife inside source, Guy the Male Nurse) there's a bloodwar of sorts going on between Biolife and ZLB. ZLB is skeet. They take people's blood, but put their money on hold. Also, let people donate more often than they should and then send them to Biolife to get more cash. I don't know what all this really means, but Guy assured me it was big news. The feds are involved.

Great.

Now, dinner and drinks for Ferranto's birthday.

I can't pay rent

so I'm selling my plasma today. I've done this once before, about a year ago, and it didn't go so well. I got all my money, but only 'donated' half the amount I was supposed to. This is because my vein exploded.
Literally.

Like, there was a giant blood bubble under my skin. Can't picture it?

Have you ever seen 'The Mummy'? You know those beetles that get under your skin and crawl around?

Yeah.

Just like that. Only blood, not bugs.

Hawt.

So, that may explain why it's been a year since I've been back to good ole Biolife. I'll let you know how it goes...

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Day One

Okay, okay.
So here it is.
The thing is,
I'm not a writer. Sure, I hit the right keys for words and sometimes the right word combos show up, but a good enough writer for my own blog?
Probably not.

The good news (for you) is that I'm gonna try anyway. Well, maybe that's not so good for you.

Oh man, this is a rocky start.

Points if you know what the title is from.

I was bored and listening to The Doors, so I cleaned the house today. All of it. Except the bathroom. And Liz's room. And Cole/Lisa/Laura's room. But other than that, I rocked the domestic duties.

Our vaccum didn't work. Turns out the spinny thing with the brushes on the bottom of the vaccum is important and does not work if it is coated in hair and thread. I say 'coated' because it literally looked like I'd murdered and stolen the coat off of a small, dusty animal when I was done hacking at it with the scissors.

BUT, the house is clean, the balcony space has expanded, Sammie got some exercise, the stove is clean and it's all thanks to Jim Morrison.